Are You Open?
by Robert Meagher on 06/03/16
Have you ever noticed how the same people keep showing up in
your life? I don’t mean the exact same person, but more the same personality
keeps showing up in your life. You notice it more acutely when the same sort of
aggravating or annoying personality keeps showing up in your life.
Over the past seven years I have facilitated a lot of
different study and discussion groups. Inevitably, one person shows up who
wants to change things—sometimes just a little, sometimes a lot! Perhaps they
want to change the format; sometimes they want to change the date, time, or
duration of the meetings; sometimes they want to change the content and purpose
of the group. It never fails; this dear soul eventually shows up at the study
and discussion groups I host and wants to change things. Oh!...did I mention
that in each of these cases no one was asked for their opinion; the dear soul
simply came forward to ask for the changes.
These unsolicited requests always rattled the ‘controlling’
side of my personality. And I would always have a tendency to, at first, meet
these unsolicited requests with resistance. I would always listen to what the
person had to say and, many times, I would actually make changes based on their
suggestions. But the underlying resistance remained and the frustration of
having to make changes persisted.
So when the latest of these personalities showed up at a
group I recently launched, I recognized them right away. In this case, the
group had not even met for the first time and this dear soul was already making
suggestions for change. The same old feelings came up for me again: the
resistance; the frustration.
So I decided to heal these ongoing, repetitive, devolving
emotions by simply being open to the possibility I had something to learn from
this person. I trusted that this dear soul had come into my life for a reason
(I may never know why in this lifetime) and there was something I had to learn
from them. My change of mind and approach allowed my resentment and frustration
to fade away.
In the latest example, some changes were made to the group’s
functioning. But the real difference was how I reacted to the changes. I let go
of my need to control and went with the flow. I realized nothing was ‘mine’ in
this endeavor and process, and allowed myself to be open to letting go and
going with the flow.
The next time that same ‘ole personality shows up in your
life, just be open to them. See what happens.
