Spiritual Guidance Blog

Life is an amazing teacher. And recently, I have been ‘schooled,’ figuratively speaking, and literally.

Western allopathic medicine has never resonated with me. Most of my life I have been oriented to seeking alternative approaches to health and wellness. Yes, I have undergone treatments over the years in traditional western medicine. But I have equally, and especially over the past 20-25 years, looked to wholistic approaches to treat my ailments.

It may come as a surprise then, and it certainly has been for me, to learn that at the beginning of January 2025, I entered Medical School at the University of Ottawa to begin self-directed studies in Human Kinetics. The very first course I took was Cellular Anatomy and Physiology.

Why on earth would I do this? Well…my reasons for returning to University were multi-faceted. But my decision to study Human Kinetics was out of a growing interest in the intersection and integration of human anatomy, physiology, nutrition and exercise. Over the past 10-15 years, I have developed a keen interest in endurance athletics. Over this period I have learned a lot on my own. I have worked with numerous trainers, read countless books, and learned a lot from many people. But I wanted to return to a structured learning environment to integrate my disparate learnings and have a more solid theoretical foundation to apply to my growing passion for endurance athletics.

My first course, Cellular Anatomy and Physiology, was a real challenge for me. My previous degrees and professional certifications were in unrelated disciplines (arts, commerce, psychology, business, management consulting, theology, psychotherapy). But I learned so much in my first course, far more than I thought I would, or more that I thought was even possible! I had some learning goals for this first course and those goals were met even before classes began! My readings in preparation for the first class helped me to answer some nagging questions that so many of my trainers had brought up for me, but could not themselves answer to my satisfaction.

I have often judged Western allopathic medicine harshly. I have even loathed the ‘system’ for seemingly dismissing alternative approaches to health and wellness. To say “I hated” Western medicine may be an exaggeration, but I wasn’t keen to give it much of my attention. But here I am, going through a Western medicine medical school, and really enjoying it!

No, I have not been converted. I will still choose alternative healing approach to any illnesses that may arise. But I have certainly developed a new level of respect for Western medicine. I understand much better why things are the way they are—not right or wrong, better or worse. I understand better how Western medicine thinks about health and wellness, and why.

The educational experience has allowed me to drop my judgements and disdain about and for Western medicine. In its place is a deep respect and appreciation for the human body and Western medicine’s approach to health and wellness. All the while being aware of the Truth of our existence, and who and what we truly are.

Life has taught me that to love something, or someone, all I need to do is stop hating. Hate is a strong word. I wouldn’t say I hated Western Medicine, but my judgements held the system in contempt. I have let go of that contempt and see Western Medicine in a very different light now. It has been a formative experience for me. To learn that in order to love something, all I have to do is stop hating it. All I need to do is stop judging it. And when I do, I allow myself to cease my separation from that thing. I allow myself to join with, to become one with the other. Oneness emerges and I am blessed with new awareness.

People have asked me “When do I know if my ego is doing the talking, or Spirit is flowing through me and the words I speak are of Spirit?”

This is a very important question and a very personal one. Like with most matters of this ineffable, philosophical nature, one size does not fit all. I have heard it said that the ego always wants to speak first. This teaching goes on to offer we must learn to pause before we speak and choose our words carefully. But how long do we pause? How long do we wait to respond, instead of react?

I have noticed something about my ‘talking,’ responding, reacting. There are times when I speak in response to a question or comment that something comes over me; I lose the sense that I am talking. The words flow out of me. I know my lips are moving, my mouth is moving to form the words. But it doesn’t feel ‘normal.’ When I am in this state, there is one, unequivocal commonality among these experiences…I cannot remember what I said. If I am asked to repeat what I just said, I simply cannot. I often can’t even remember the gist of what I said.

Unlike when I speak from the ego, I can often remember much of what I say, if not be able to repeat it verbatim. I have no problem being able to summarize or repeat the saliant points of what I said. This goes for anything—whether I am speaking in anger, defending myself, chatting with friends, having a conversation with an acquaintance or, generally, any person. If you ask me what I just said, I will probably be able to repeat myself or, at least, highlight the main point of what I said, repeating it another way.

But when I have those experiences of something talking through me, I am not able to remember what I say. It’s almost like another being or entity is speaking and I am removed from the conversation, in mind and body. It may not be surprising that most times I recall having these experiences is when I am in a group setting discussing spiritual matters or teachings, or in a therapeutic setting.

The other times I know it’s not the ego talking is when I sit in silence and not talk. Granted, in most of these situations, my mind is thinking with the ego. This may be obvious, but it is not without its important teachings. I will often get asked, as I am sure you have been too, “So…what do you think?” To which I increasingly respond, “I try not to think.”

The thinking mind is always led by/with ego. If we are thinking, we are engaging our ego. My act of sitting down in front of the computer, tapping on the keyboard to write/type this article, is an act of engaging my ego. Granted, I have had experiences, and heard of others’ experiences, whereby I sit down at the keyboard and, again, something comes over me and my fingers fly over the keyboard but I feel removed from the act. What comes out on the paper/screen flows effortlessly. But normally, as in the case of this and most every article I have ever written, I think my way through the article and, thus, think with the ego.

Is it any surprise that the core of any meditation practice I have ever engaged in invites me to clear my mind and let all thought go…to sit in stillness and empty my mind. It is from the egoless place (or less ego) that peace is possible.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

“The use of miracles as spectacles to induce belief is a misunderstanding of their purpose.”

- A Course in Miracles (T-1.I.10)

There was a recent experience I want to share with you. Some may call it an awakening. Others may call it enlightenment. I will simply refer to it as an awareness.

I was having a rather peaceful week; each afternoon and evening I sat in meditation. Each sitting brought an awareness of the beauty around me. As I glanced out my living room window, the trees, the sky, the lights of the city, everything took on a beauty that felt more significant, more illumined, than I had noticed before. There was an expansive feeling to the moments.

As I sat with the awareness, on one day, my thoughts started to drift to recent events and people. As each event or person passed through my mind, I felt only beauty and love for the event or individuals involved. Whereas previous moments may have been only fleeting when experienced, these recent feelings of beauty and love remained with me for many minutes.

One of the events and people that revealed unprecedented teachings was the recent US election and Donald Trump. As I thought about the events, the election results, and Donald Trump himself, I just kept smiling and feeling only beauty and love for the event, the election results, and Donald Trump. Whereas earlier thoughts on the same may have resulted in a moment of the beauty and love, and then other fear thoughts would race in, I remained in this beauty and love for several minutes; just sitting there with only beauty and love surrounding my thoughts.

There was an awareness of the perfection of it all—the event, the election results, and Donald Trump. The awareness of the perfection of it all brought with it a most precious teaching. I humbly realized that not only did I not understand the event, the election results, or Donald Trump, but I no longer understand anything happening outside of me. I don’t know what anything outside of me is for. Furthermore, there is an awareness that it is all meaningless.

Even my inner work, all the time and energy I have seemingly spent on my spiritual growth and development, it too is not understandable. It too is meaningless. This does not mean the inner work has been without purpose. In and of itself, it is all meaningless, whether inner work, or outer work. It is only my thoughts about the unfolding that give it any meaning to me.

In my sittings, the awareness and gifts continued being offered to me. As I sat with the preceding awarenesses, there was an awareness that I no longer need to understanding anything. I no longer need to try to figure out the inner or outer world. I simply need, if anything, to witness it, and then let it go. This awareness offered me great freedom.

More important and significant than all the preceding, was the awareness to acknowledge the awareness, but to let it go and move on. Fixating on these moments in time, these windows on reality, on truth, will serve no one. The gift in these experiences, as egoic as they are, is to let them go and move beyond them. Cling to nothing.

I have had many of these types of experiences over the years. But this one is different in a significant way. I remember it! All previous illuminating experiences came and went, often without my being able to remember any of them. There would have been an awareness that something transpired, and it was a beautiful teaching, but I could not remember the details, the teaching. Sometimes I have scurried to a notepad to try and capture the teaching, but before I even got to the notepad, ‘puff!,’ it’s gone. This teaching has stuck with me weeks after the experience.

The preceding experience, the awareness, came without fanfare. There was no ‘illumination,’ no rapture. The skies did no open up. The seas did not part. It was rather subdued. Gentle. Sublime. It was like any other experience really. This one differed only in that it has brought a new way of looking at the world, my thoughts about the world, and how I choose to live within the world. There is a beautiful teaching… “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” These experiences don’t change our life, yet our life changes. Not because of the experience, but because of our awareness of the experience. It’s all egoic, afterall. All of it! Let it all go. Be grateful for the experience, but let it all go, move on and be aware in the next moment. For Robin Wall Kimmerer offers us… “Maybe there is no such thing as time; there are only moments, each with its own story.”

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

“Words are windows, or they're walls,

They sentence us, or set us free.

When I speak and when I hear,

Let the love light shine through me.”
- Ruth Bebermeyer

The past eight months has been an unprecedented period of personal and spiritual education for me. The recent, intensive learning began in May (2024) when my partner was plunged into long-term care due to paralysis. My partner lives with advanced stages of Parkinsons and dementia.

The preceding eight months has been one of purification. Home life with my partner of 25 years has been stripped away. My physical home was stripped away (I have relocated into an apartment). Much of my work activities were stripped away, as I devoted all of my energies to helping my partner transition into long-term care and selling our home. What remaining social life I had, outside of institutional settings, was stripped away. There was little left. If there had been any facades, any coverings or veils, that my ego was still projecting, these too had been stripped away. I was ego-less. Not ‘without’ ego, but with less of it. I felt helpless, vulnerable beyond compare, and with no control over all that was unfolding.

As I begin to emerge out of this period, some precious insights are starting to crystalize into beautiful gems. First, there is an awareness that unlike any other time in my life I know nothing. I do not know what anything outside of me is for. I do not understand anything outside of me. I cannot even be sure I can explain what anything outside is for or even means. Second, there is an awareness that all of it, all that is seemingly around me, people, places, events, means nothing. It is ALL meaningless. Third, and perhaps most precious, is an awareness that I no longer need to strive to understand anything outside of me. I no longer need to strive to make sense of, or find meaning in, anything outside of me. All I need do, if anything, is accept all that appears to be unfolding outside of me.

The preceding awareness has been tremendously freeing. I can certainly acknowledge all that is unfolding outside of me, but now I give myself permission to not have to make sense of it or understand what it is all about. It simply is. As a dear soul friend has often shared with me about that which he experiences unfolding outside of him…all I need do is acknowledge “Oh, that just happened.”…and move on. No judgement; no thought beyond what just happened. Just an awareness; and then a letting go.

Until now I have written about what is seemingly going on outside of me. What about the inside? What about all that is going on inside of me? Well…there is little to no difference. The outside if merely a manifestation of what is going on inside. It is equally helpful to be aware of what is going on ‘inside’ as ‘outside,’ but it is equally meaningless and pointless. All of my inner work over the years, while valid and a stepping stone to present-day awareness, was, in itself meaningless and pointless. I don’t mean that the inner work was not worth doing, but that, in and of itself, it was meaningless and pointless. It was only what I projected on the inner work that had any meaning or point.

Even my meditation practice has not gone unaffected in my awareness. For several years I have allowed less and less structure to lay over my meditation practice. Yes, I continue to sit daily in stillness, but I have moved almost entirely to a meditation practice of ‘allowing’ no structure or set way of doing things. If there is a goal, it is simply to be still and allow my thinking mind to come to rest. This practice of stilling the mind is, in an of itself, like all other illusions. However, it differs in one very important way; at least it doesn’t create any other illusions of myself, or anything I may perceive to be unfolding outside of me.

These ‘dark nights of the soul’ are precious gifts. The preceding eight months has allowed me to deepen in my trust of life and Spirit. So long as I surrender to the unfolding, the TRUE gifts of life will reveal themselves to me. But so long as I hold back, so long as I refuse to go in to the dark, I walk away from my healing. There is light in the dark. The darkness is not there to consume me; it is there to set me free.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

Many of you may be familiar with the famous biblical scene of Jesus’ crucifixion and him uttering the words “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34 KJV) There has been much written about the meaning of Jesus’ words. But I recently had an experience that gave me personal insight to what may have been going through Jesus’ head when he uttered those words.

One day in November, I was leaving the long-term care home after having visited my partner on that day. It was a trying visit and I was feeling rather ‘beaten up’ emotionally. I was walking with my head down, with a heavy heart and feeling dejected.

As I approached the parking lot where my car was parked, I lifted my head. At that precise moment, a car backed up into the driver’s side of my car. I will never forget the sound of crunching metal. As the car moved away from my car, I could see the indentation in my car door. I was stunned! I froze momentarily; only to be jolted out of my daze when the driver backed up into my car for a second time!

My awareness of the unfolding events expanded as I realized the driver of the car was an 80-perhaps-90-year-old-man who was very confused about how to get out of the parking space he was in. His choice of maneuvers was placing him in a more precarious position with every turn of the wheel.

A host of thoughts started racing through my mind…

How many more times is this guy going to hit my car? How can this man be allowed to have a driver’s license? How on earth is he going to get out of this parking lot without hitting my car, or other cars, repeatedly?

I pondered my options…

I knew I could choose to do the normal thing…go over to the driver, inform him he had backed in to my car multiple times, damaging my car…and proceed to exchange insurance information so that I could make a claim for repair of the damage. I can remember thinking… “I may be doing everyone a favor—me, the driver, unsuspecting bystanders, etc.—by having the driver prosecuted so that he wouldn’t harm himself or anyone else by his driving skills, or lack thereof. The next thought that ran through my mind was… “Will this old fella even have insurance?”

As the thoughts continued to race through my head, one of the attendants in the parking hut ran over to the man and his car, recognizing what had happened and what was unfolding. The parking attendant patiently and compassionately helped the elderly man out of his car, drove the car out of the parking lot, and helped the man (who could not walk on his own) back to his car.

As all this was happening, I simply sat on a nearby curb, watching it all unfold. A calm came over me. There was an awareness that I could not change what just happened (i.e., the man backing in to my car twice), as it all happened so quickly. I watched with much gratitude as the parking attendant helped the old man so that no further damage was done to my car, or other cars in the parking lot.

The old man got in his car and drove off. I said a prayer that he would arrive at his destination safely, without harming himself or anyone else.

At this point you may deduce I chose not to confront the driver of the car and collect the necessary information to make an insurance claim. Why? Well, after surveying the situation, I asked myself… “What’s the point?” The old man had no idea what he was doing. I could see the confusion in his eyes. He had no idea how to maneuver his car out of the parking spot. He was afraid. He was so afraid that he had no awareness that he was backing in to my car. He was aware there was a car in back of him, but he had no awareness he had made contact with the car. He just needed to get himself out of there! He simply did not know what he was doing.

My decision to not confront the man was not a righteous one. My decision was rooted in the wisdom teachings to “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And remember, it’s all small stuff.” It was a decision to just let it go. It was a decision for my peace. And that peace is only possible through forgiveness. Would I condemn myself for having done the same thing if the scenario was reversed? Then why would I condemn this elderly man? My car was damaged, but not disabled. The car would be fine. The car would still get me from point A to point B. After all was said and thought and done, the man backing in to my car simply didn’t matter. Goodness knows, I had what felt like far more important things to think about.

Was this what Jesus was thinking about when he uttered the word “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”? Had Jesus arrived at the state of mind where he just let it all go? Was it peace Jesus was pursuing and he realized the only way to obtain that peace was to forgive everything and all? Had Jesus arrived at a state of awareness that, in the end, what was being done to him simply didn’t matter? We’ll never know. But are there opportunities in our lives to just let things go. To acknowledge, even witness, the unfolding, but to choose for peace in our response to that unfolding?

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.