Spiritual Guidance Blog

I was recently speaking with someone about the pain and suffering they were experiencing. Not surprisingly, this person was not in a happy place. Their bouts of pain and suffering had plagued them much of their lives. Their current episode of pain and suffering was among the most intense of their entire life.

This person spoke about all the times they encountered this pain and suffering. We spoke about some of the recurring themes of their pain and suffering and what seemed to be the cause. When I asked the person what they did to alleviate any given bout of pain and suffering, they said they would try and distract themselves, do something to not experience the pain and suffering. I asked them if this practice worked for them. They said it did temporarily, but the pain and suffering would always return.

I asked the person if they ever considered going into the pain and suffering. The person said they didn’t know how to ‘go into the pain and suffering,’ and, even if they knew how, they would be too afraid.

I asked the person if they could remember doing anything in their life where they simply trusted, allowed, or surrendered. “Yes,” was the answer. The person recounted many cases in their life when they trusted something unfolding, allowed it to unfold, and surrendered in the process. I invited this person to do the same with their episodes of pain and suffering; to trust, to allow, to surrender.

I shared that their pain and suffering have something to offer them. God is in the pain and suffering, just as God is in everything (as God is omnipresent). Their very healing is in the pain and suffering. But to heal we must go into and through the pain. It may feel like we are going through hell, but your healing is in going through the hell, not in staying in it. Not entering into our pain and suffering is a recipe for staying in our hell.

It is not intuitive to go into our pain and suffering. Our tendency is to want to avoid our pain and suffering. But our pain and suffering is our soul calling out for healing. Our pain and suffering, even though not the truth of our existence, is not just an opportunity to find peace in our lives, our pain and suffering is the very pathway to find peace in our lives. It is through our pain and suffering that we are shown what peace is, how to obtain peace, and how to keep it.

Our pain and suffering are not something to be avoided. Our pain and suffering are actually something to run toward. We don’t need to seek it out. It will find us, when we are ready. Pain and suffering will find us because we are not at peace. We don’t need to seek for peace, for peace is the Truth. We do, however, need to seek for what is false; and our pain and suffering is false. We need to bring our false, or illusion, to the Truth so that it may be healed.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

In the fall of 2023, I entered the ‘dark night of the soul.’ What appeared to usher in this purification? My partner was diagnosed with dementia. My partner had already been living with Parkinsons for 20 years, and was now living with advanced stages of Parkinsons. The dementia diagnosis was not a surprise, as it is often the natural progression of Parkinsons, but it was a psychological and emotional blow!

In the weeks following the dementia diagnosis, and the realization that the dementia had been unfolding for several years, I was plunged into darkness. There was a pervading sadness that rested upon everything…like a dense, dark, heavy storm cloud moments before it opens up to poor torrents of rain upon you.

I could feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into the darkness. I could feel my body becoming heavier and heavier. The feelings and sensations grew to manifest as a constant sinus and cranial pressure. My mind was foggy most of the time. I was sleeping okay, exercising daily, and eating my usual healthy diet, but I often felt fatigued.

As my awareness of these sensations grew, I wanted to ignore them, thinking they would just dissipate. But the feelings lingered. My cursory self-diagnosis was that I was experiencing depression; as the symptoms most closely resembled depression. As I meandered my way through the stigma associated with such conditions, another, different awareness was gifted me. This was the ‘dark night of the soul’ taunting me and gesturing for me to enter into its lair.

As I approached the entrance to this dark night of the soul, my physical symptoms started to abate. My body started to lighten up; my sinus and cranial pressure loosened. But I knew that I had to enter the dark night of the soul. I knew that if I backed out, my bodily sensations would return. I knew that if I wanted to heal, I had to enter the dark night of the soul. So…I entered.

Entering the dark night of the soul was a pure act of surrender. I knew that the only way out was to go into and through the pain. This surrender allowed the bodily sensations of heaviness, sinus and cranial pressure, and mind fogginess to continue to dissipate. As I venture through this dark night of the soul, the pervading feeling of sadness remains, but the bodily sensations are lifting.

I cannot know the trajectory of my partner’s condition, and I cannot know how long my journey through the dark night of the soul may last. But I am becoming more comfortable in this unknown space—as comfortable as one can be in such a place.

As I venture through the dark night of the soul, I am reminded of the wonderful parable about a student having an audience with his teacher. During this meeting, the student shares with the teacher that he is experiencing suffering. The student shares in detail what is happening in his life that results in his suffering. After listening intently for a while, the teacher gently smiles, and says to the student, “You are not experiencing suffering. You are suffering your experience.”

The parable is a poignant reminder of how we see our suffering; that we even see suffering at all! I have given myself permission to feel what it is I am feeling about my experience. I have given myself permission to see this experience as a spiritual purification; of what?...that remains to be seen. I have given myself permission to continue to surrender to this journey through the dark night of the soul and to allow the journey to reveal to me what it is trying to teach me. I remain open and receptive.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

So much of our discontent is the result of us holding on. When we hold on to things, we create the fertile ground for sadness, anxiety, grievances, anger, hatred, and conflict.

What do I mean by holding on? I don’t mean holding on to things in the literal sense. For example, I don’t mean holding on to a coffee mug or a hair dryer. Although, if either the coffee mug or hair dryer are scalding hot, letting go will immediately stop the burning sensation. I am referring to holding on to things of an emotional or psychological nature. For example, holding on to the way life was. Or, holding on to expectations that someone will act or behave a certain way. Or, holding on to hopes and wishes that something will turn out a certain way.

Allow me to share an example that shows what holding on can look like from different angles. I will use one of my passions, cycling, as an example.

Cycling season in Ottawa, ON, CANADA, runs from, approximately, April through to November. The heart of the cycling season is May through September, with cycling in April and October being hit and miss from a weather standpoint. There are some hardy cyclists who cycle year-round, regardless of the weather, but those brave souls are scarce.

When my cycling season stops, in late October or early November, I turn to other outdoor activities to get some exercise in the great outdoors. My primary exercise in the cycling off season is hiking. If the weather cooperates, I will get out to enjoy some cross-country skiing and/or ice skating. The warming of our climate has seen less snow and cold in Ottawa, and the season for skiing and skating has shrunk significantly over the past five year alone!

During the cycling off season, I often find myself reminiscing and daydreaming about my cycling adventures from the previous season. My reminiscing and daydreaming are a form of holding on. When I hold on to my memories of my cycling adventures, I miss the chance to embrace the present moment and the present opportunities to enjoy other activities. I miss the opportunity to allow the ebb and flow of life to lead me, instead of me trying to control my life. Trying to control my life surely is a recipe for discontent.

Continuing to use my love of cycling, allow me to share a different form or angle of holding on…

I recently shared about my partner’s dementia diagnosis. In the weeks following the diagnosis, I scampered my way through a myriad of emotions. I was drawn into projecting on to the future what things would be like. Even though I am fully aware I cannot possibly know what will happen in the very next moment, let alone weeks or months from now, I fell into a practice of predicting what the future would hold.

One of the focal points of my commiseration was the prediction that I would have to give up my outdoor cycling in order to stay close and watch over my partner. The thoughts of giving up outdoor cycling led me to sadness, anger, and resentment. I realized just how much I was holding on to my anticipation of a future state of being (i.e., cycling outdoors again). The only way out of this emotional predicament was to let go of my wants and needs. There is a beautiful teaching that goes something like this… ‘We don’t always want what we need, and we don’t always need what we want.’

Ultimately, it is a matter of surrendering to life. Can I trust enough in life that life will do what is the best for me? Can I trust that there is a time and place for everything in life and that if I cannot do something right now, that is what life has in store for me? Can I surrender to life and trust that a Will greater than mine is at play and that to fight that Will is not the path to peace? My path to peace is surrendering to the truth that life is not happening to me, but life is happening FOR me. If I am meant to do something in the future, I will do it. If I am not meant to do something in the future, I will not do it. It’s that simple.

I have used a couple of very simple examples of what I mean by holding on. I trust you can realize the places in your life where you are holding on. Letting go, or surrendering, doesn’t mean giving up all our hopes and dreams. There’s nothing wrong with hoping and dreaming. Just realize that we plan, hope, and dream because we are afraid of what would happen if we didn’t! Planning, hoping, and dreaming can have some very practical applications in our lives (e.g., making a grocery list to go to the store), but our peace is found in letting go and accepting all that is.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

One of my favorite pastimes at this time of year is solving jigsaw puzzles. As the daylight hours grow shorter and the temperatures are not as conducive to spending long periods of time outdoors, I turn to indoor activities that nurture my heart and soul. One of these indoor activities is solving jigsaw puzzles.

Jigsaw puzzles are interesting creatures. My favorite jigsaw puzzles are bright and cheery, and will have people, movement, and action in them. During the Holiday Season, I enjoy puzzles that depict holiday gatherings of merriment and joy. Landscapes are also a favorite of mine, so long as there are people in the puzzle.

While working on a recent jigsaw puzzle, an awareness came to me that life is very much like a puzzle. There are many pieces to our lives, one might say an infinite number of pieces. Each of these pieces of our lives is put together to create a beautiful picture or mosaic.

One of these intricate qualities of the jigsaw puzzle of our lives is that each and every piece is located and put in its rightful place at exactly the right time—exactly when we need it. Allow me to share an example.

I enjoy going for walks at this time of year. I get bundled up and off I go for walks through the forest and along the banks of a nearby river. On one of my recent walks, I was thinking that I wanted to speak to someone about apartment renting. I wondered who I could speak to. As I thought about it, I realized I had a good friend who lived in an apartment and that this friend would be the perfect person to speak to. Who did I bump into on this very walk? That’s right, the friend I was thinking I needed to speak to! I asked my friend my questions about apartment renting and got exactly the answers I needed. The preceding is a simple, yet perfect, example of how the pieces of our jigsaw puzzle life get put together as we make our way through life.

The one interesting quality of life as a jigsaw puzzle, that I am fascinated with, is that we never actually get to see the completed picture or image. We do complete our jigsaw puzzle of life, but we are not able to see our completed picture. As we are living our lives, we are not able to see the bigger picture and how it all fits together. The best puzzle solvers of life are those that develop a trust in life—a trust that the pieces are all falling in to place exactly as they should and/or need to. The best puzzle solvers are those that realize every situation unfolds exactly as it should and that we are brought the pieces of our puzzle when we are ready to find it.

Yes, there are seeming ups and down in life. But each up and down is a piece in the jigsaw puzzle. And each piece does come together to create a beautiful picture or mosaic. Enjoy piecing together your puzzle of life. Enjoy making your own, unique creation.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

For more than 20 years I have been the sole (and soul) caregiver for my partner who lives with Parkinsons. Last month, my partner was also diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. The new diagnosis was not unexpected; it is a natural progression of Parkinsons for many people living with Parkinsons.

The caregiving journey over the past 20+ years has been an interesting one, to say the least! We have seen many ups and downs. There have been many challenges along the way. Just one of the blessings has been the slow progression of the Parkinsons. We have been given time to adjust to each new turn in the road before another turn comes into view.

Soon after the Lewy Body Dementia diagnosis, I was brought the awareness of the infinite nature of our love and compassion. Prior to the dementia diagnosis, the caregiving felt like a heavy weight at times—weighing me down, grinding me down. When we received the Lewy Body Dementia diagnosis, however, a whole new wave of compassion flowed over me. The diagnosis was an invitation to dig deep within to uncover that infinite storehouse of love and compassion.

We do have an unlimited storehouse of love and compassion. We only need to let that storehouse be opened to experience it. Nothing outside of us will open this storehouse for us. It is only by turning inward that the storehouse can be revealed to us. A recent spiritual teaching from A Course in Miracles helped me to unlock this storehouse…

I am one Self, united with my Creator, at one with every aspect of creation, and limitless in power and in peace.

Love and compassion are the DNA of our true Self. Love and compassion are the foundation for everything we say and do. It is from this love and compassion that a healed mind emerges; the mind that blocked our awareness to these infinite gifts within us.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.