I have nothing more to say, and I couldn’t be happier!
by Robert Meagher on 12/03/18
When I was a little boy, I learned how to speak English.
Speaking became my primary way of communicating with others. I was taught how
to communicate verbally so that I could interact with others and let my needs
and wants be known.
As I grew into adolescence, I was taught how to refine my speech
to fully express myself. Expressing myself in verbal speech spilled over into
the written word. As I progressed through adolescence and entered into the
world of higher education, expressing myself verbally and in writing became
encouraged, prized, and rewarded. I remember during one particular university
semester, several different professors encouraged me time and time again to
“Write more, go deeper. I want you to express yourself more fully and deeply.”
After graduating from university, entering both adulthood
and the workforce, written and verbal communication took on a life of its own.
Writing and publishing articles and books, speaking at conferences around the
world, all became the new norm. The expectations grew and so too did the
stakes!
All through my youth, adolescence and adulthood I was
oriented toward silence and stillness. Secretly I pondered solitude in all its
glorious possibilities. As I raced my way through my career, and enjoyed more
success in my written and verbal communication, inside I was conflicted. I
never understood what all the fuss was about regarding the written or spoken
word. And public speaking was losing its luster. All around me was the
messaging to ‘speak up!’ Professional endeavors at the time also confronted me
with the ever-increasing opportunity to defend my views and enter into dialogue
that was nothing more than conflict veiled in the name of professional
development and advancement. I was tired of it all!
In 2009 when I left Corporate Canada, I discovered a way
through life that allowed me to embrace silence, stillness, and solitude. And
yet, even in this new, very different, milieu there remained the ever-present
call to verbal and written communication and dialogue that sometimes was, once
again, conflict veiled in the name of development and advancement.
The transition from Corporate Canada to ministry since 2009
has allowed me to let go of so much, including my need to engage in the
societal norms and expectation regarding verbal and written communication. Yes,
I still write. Yes, I still do public speaking. I facilitate many groups each
week. But all this communication is offered in service to the Divine, rather
than ego-aggrandizement. I am becoming less and less interested in casual
conversation and I am completely disinterested in any form of conflictual
dialogue and defense.
Many have written about how intimacy and communion thrive in
silence and stillness; people like Anthony Storr, Michael Harris, Robert Kull,
Gabriel Garcia Marquez, May Sarton, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ruth Haley Barton,
Richard Harvey, et. al. I experienced this first-hand on a ski vacation to a
very popular ski resort in Canada, Whistler Mountain. One day I took the
chairlift to the top of Whistler Peak, found a secluded spot and just sat
there! With stillness all around me, and the wind whistling, I found a profound
presence in the stillness. It was as if the wind was speaking to me. There was
presence in solitude. There was sound in silence.
This intimacy and communion with life, through silence and
stillness, I offer to the Divine in sacred service. The primary means for this
offering are the psychotherapy practice and groups I facilitate. I am given the
opportunity to listen…to truly listen! True listening embraces a shared
experience, a felt experience with the other. Listening to their voice,
listening to what their gestures and physical movements are telling me. If I
listen carefully enough, a connectedness and synergy arises. A truth emerges.
Today, I am far more interested in listening than speaking
or writing. I am more interested in stillness, silence, and solitude. In
stillness and silence is everything I need and want. Solitude is not about
whisking myself away to a secluded space or place. Solitude is about coming to
rest in peace in my true, authentic self. I can easily be in solitude among 100
people as I can in an isolated setting 100s of miles from civilization.
Alas, in truth, I am coming to rest in a very peaceful place
of knowing that I have nothing more to say…and I couldn’t be happier!
Robert Meagher has
been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual
Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.