None Of It Is Me

I recently shared about some losses I was experiencing: loss of living with my life partner (as he was being transitioned into long-term care); loss of our home (as I was in the process of selling it); and loss of my livelihood (as the circumstances that were unfolding resulted in my stopping my majority of my work). As I walk my way through these losses, as I grieve, some interesting awarenesses are being brought my way.

First, my relationship with my life partner, the loss of living with my life partner due to him being transitioned into long-term care, is not what I am. Any relationship I am in with another is not me. We have a tendency to define ourselves by the relationships we are in. We become the relationship and / or the relationship becomes us. We can quite easily lose ourselves in the other, the relationship.

Our home, and all the material possessions contained within it, are not me. Like with relationships, we tend to identify with our material possessions. We can become so attached to our material possessions that we think it’s who we are. We identify with our material possessions. We allow them to define who we are. There’s an interesting paradox about our material possessions. We think we own things. In reality, our material possessions own us.

Lastly, my livelihood, my work, is not who or what I am. How often have you been at a social gathering, meet someone new, and, perhaps naturally, ask… “So, what do you do for a living?” The typical response might be, “I’m a teacher.” or “I’m a real estate agent.” or “I’m an office clerk.” Nothing could be further from the truth. We are none of these occupations, jobs, titles. Think about it!...are you REALLY a teacher, real estate agent, or office clerk? Is that what and who you are? I have often said of the work I do, I practice minister, but I am not a minister. I practice psychotherapy, but I am not a psychotherapist. And so on.

My relationships are not who or what I am. My material possessions, no matter how grand, are not who or what I am. My job is not who or what I am. Then what am I? The ancient teachers guide us to an awareness that ‘I am that which I seek.’ Or even more simply stated, ‘I am that.’ And non-dual teachings would simply say ‘I am.’

There is a beautiful teaching, “We don’t have to seek for what is true. But we do need to seek for what is false.” What is true is love, nothing more, nothing less. Love is the very essence, all and everything that we are. We don’t need to seek for it, for that is what we are. We do need to seek for what is false. In other words, we need to seek for the blockages to love in all its myriads of layers and permutations. It is only in seeking these blockages, becoming aware of these blockages, that we may learn to remove these blockages.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.