Space Transformation

When my partner was plunged into the long-term care system in May, most everything I was doing stopped. I stopped most of my ministry work. I stopped facilitating groups. I stopped endurance cycling outside (although I continued to enjoy indoor workouts). I stopped any remaining social activities I was engaging in. All my energies were devoted to helping my partner, as best I could, get settled in a long-term care facility.

Now, seven months later, my partner is settled in a long-term care facility. I have sold our home, moved, and settled in to a new place. Now, seven months later, life is starting to settle down a little. I feel space in my life again; that is, some time to sit and relax, space and time to ‘smell the proverbial roses.’ I have begun to think about resuming some of the activities I enjoyed before May. But not so fast!...

I have made a conscious decision to re-evaluate everything I was doing prior to May. As I consider engaging in any/all activities, I will evaluate whether I want to resume the activity. I have made a conscious decision to not fill up all my time and energies. I have made a conscious decision to allow ‘space’ in my life. This feels like such a critical juncture in my life; and giving myself the permission to be patient with the unfolding feels important. I need time to watch and witness what may emerge. I don’t want to numb any new, creative ideas that may come my way because I have no time or space to explore them. For example,..

I am intending to return to University in January to study Human Kinetics. In recent years I have developed a keen interest in the relationship among human anatomy, physiology, physical exercise and nutrition. While I have enjoyed my self-directed study in recent years, I want to return to an academic setting and add some structure to my learning. What I am so looking forward to is inviting this new learning experience ‘for me,’ not for a degree (i.e., piece of paper), but for the simple joy of learning.

As my life transforms and emerges from a tumultuous purification of sorts, I will consciously observe the unfoldings, giving myself permission to ‘feel’ the unfolding. I will be patient with myself and give myself the time I need to adjust and embrace what emerges.

This time feels like a great ‘reset;’ an opportunity to start over again, sort of. Of course, I am not going to jettison everything I did before. The foundation of my ministry work will remain. I intend to continue my psychotherapy practice and spiritual groups. I intend to continue my collaboration with my spiritual teacher, Richard Harvey. But all of these activities will be streamlined. Some newness will emerge, for which I look forward to.

Transforming one’s life, and what one does with one’s life, is invigorating and rejuvenating. Life can get pretty full. Sometimes this fullness creeps up on us. Sometimes life gives us some calamity that makes life spill over and we are forced to make abrupt adjustments. It’s all carefully orchestrated to guide us through our own learning and healing, however. Regardless of what’s unfolding, whether we perceive it as good or bad, it will pass. Something new will emerge. Nothing stays the same, except our love. That is the one constant, love. Let love guide us through life and the transformations of space we experience.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.