What Part Of Me Is Thinking Or Feeling?

I went for a walk to the grocery store yesterday. It was a beautiful Spring day and it was lovely to walk along the streets with the warm air blowing on my skin and in my hair. I arrived at the grocery store, selected what I needed, and then headed home, with groceries in hand.

As I walked home, I became aware of my thoughts, feelings, and judgements. I remember looking at a tree that had buds just starting to come out. I remember thinking, “Oh!, how lovely!” I remember seeing people sitting outdoors on a tavern patio, enjoying a drink with friends. I remember thinking, “It must be cool, just sitting there, and drinking a cold drink.” I remember seeing some Christmas lights high up in a tree. I remember thinking, “How did those lights get so high up?!...Why are they still up there, it’s the end of March!” There was a never-ending conveyor belt of thoughts, and feelings associated with the thoughts.

Shortly before I arrived home, it dawned on me to ask the question, for any of the things I saw, who was doing the seeing? For any of the things I thought, who was doing the thinking? For any of the feelings I felt, who was doing the feeling?

The part of Rob that looked at the budding tree was that part of Rob that loves nature…the nature-lover Rob. The part of Rob that looked at the people sitting on the outdoor patio, enjoying a drink with friends, was the introvert Rob, the part of Rob that wouldn’t engage in that sort of behavior. The part of Rob that looked at the Christmas lights high up in the tree and asked “How did those lights get so high up?!...Why are they still up there, it’s the end of March!”…was the part of Rob that seeks for efficiency and consistency in all things. Afterall, wouldn’t one take down Christmas lights before the end of January?!!!

So, what’s the point of this inquiry and realization? Very simply, any ‘part’ of me that thinks, feels or judges is not in direct communion with the Divine. Any part of me that thinks, feels or judges is the part of me that I have carved off from the Divine and made my own.

Thought or feeling is born from judgement. I see something and I make a judgement—it’s good, it’s bad, it’s right, it’s wrong. I feel something because of something I experience—I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel joy, I feel anger. This too is born from judgement.

Judgement is not of the Divine. The Divine does not judge. The Divine simply observes and acknowledges what is. There is no thought of “I like this.” or “I don’t like this.” Whatever ‘this’ is…simply is.

Our practice, our work, is in bringing back together, unifying, all the different parts of ourselves we have made to walk through this world. In that bringing back together, we unify all aspects of ourselves and allow the Divine to ‘be’ present within us.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.