When You Don’t Know What To Do, That’s When It Works!

You may have a perfect life. You may have an answer for everything that happens in your life. You may have everything under control. If that’s you, wonderful! But for some, perhaps many, there may be times in your life when you don’t have the answers and nothing seems to be under your control.

I experience not knowing what to do all the time. This caregiving journey I am on provides me with such experiences every day. That’s right, at least once a day, I have no idea what to do. The continued cognitive decline of my partner leaves me not knowing how to deal with situations. Seemingly, life has not prepared me for this. I don’t have the answers. I simply don’t know what to do!

This past month has opened a blessed window for me when situations and circumstances arise for which I have no answers and/or don’t know what to do. I’ve learned that…I don’t need to do anything really. I’ve learned that I need to stop ‘trying’ to do anything. If I need to do anything, it’s to trust that life will take care of the situation for me.

To not do anything is counterintuitive. “Of course I need to do something!,” I try and tell myself. “I cannot allow this to go on this way. I have to DO SOMETHING!,” I try and convince myself. “If I don’t DO SOMETHING NOW, this is going to be disastrous.” My fear takes over and I become more and more afraid.

I have had plenty of practice at DOING SOMETHING, of DOING SOMETHING NOW! My fear drives me to act. My guilt drives me to take action!

This past month has allowed me to practice a new approach to being in those moments in life when I simply don’t know what to do. I step back, out of the way, and allow life to do what it needs to do for the betterment of all. And I’ve learned this approach has not failed me.

There is an old teaching… ‘Life doesn’t happen to you. Life happens FOR you.” When I allow life to do what it needs to do for the betterment of all, I allow life to happen for me. I drop my trying to control the unfolding. When I stop trying to control the unfolding, and surrender to the unfolding, when I allow life to just do what it needs to do, in effect to take care of itself, I have been amazed that everything works out fine.

It’s a very uncomfortable place / space to be in, however. This space of the non-knowing, this space of allowing, this space of not reacting, this space of trusting.

So much of our existence reinforces the messaging that we ‘should know what to do.’ But there may be times and experiences in our lives when that is simply not the case. These times call for us to acknowledge we don’t know what to do and turn the situation over to life to take care of. It’s not a show a weakness or failure. On the contrary, it’s a show of great strength and courage! To acknowledge you don’t have the answers and allow the solution to be shown to you, takes courage beyond anything you will have demonstrated before.

When you simply don’t know what to do, stop! Let go of your need to fix or solve this problem. Allow life to show you the way. That’s when it will all work out just as it’s intended to.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.