Spiritual Guidance Blog

“Let go of what was

Accept what is

Have faith in what will be”

~ Unknown

The above three lines came into my life recently and they may be among three of the most healing verses I have ever come across.

Let go of what was. This may be the ultimate clarion call for true forgiveness. To simply let go of what was. Anything and everything. Not only the things I thought others did, but even things I thought I did. This line is equally the invitation to let go of our story; the story of who we think we are; the story of our limiting beliefs and self-inflicted suffering. Simply let go. Let go of it all. Clear the slate. Awaken to the truth of our divinity.

Accept what is. If this verse is not an invitation for surrender, acceptance, and peace of mind, I don’t know what is. As the first verse may be the ultimate clarion call for true forgiveness, this verse may be the ultimate harbinger for reality. Whatever is, is. There is no changing what is now, because our thoughts have made it what it is, now. Our reality is none other than what is, now.

Have faith in what will be. Isn’t this beautiful?! Have faith. Have hope. I’ve heard it said that take away everything from a man or woman, but if he or she still has hope, he or she has everything. So even if what is, now, may not be to our liking or preference, we can still have hope that the next moment, or day, or week, or year…will be different, maybe even better. One thing is for sure…having faith in what will be is our calling to practice the first two verses in this passage: to (a) let go of what was; and (b) accept what is. This is our hope; our only hope for true forgiveness, peace, joy, and love.

Over the past week I have been using these three verses as a new and welcomed mantra. It has allowed me to stop resisting life. It has allowed me to allow. It has enabled me to release pain and suffering. It has allowed me to come into a deeper peace.

And so this is my invitation for you, dear friends. I invite you to recite these 3 lines first thing in the morning for 10 straight days. See what your life brings you.

“We see what we want to see and these perceptions are shaped by every life experience that preceded it. From our perception, we judge what we see. At this point our emotions enter the picture. And from our judgement we make choices.”

I am a heavy user of social media, and one of the social media channels I use extensively is LinkedIn. One of the ways I use LinkedIn is to share my monthly newsletter with new connections. When I receive a new LinkedIn connection request, I send the person a thank you message to inform them that I gratefully accept their connection request as an interest on their part in staying connected and that one of the ways I will stay connected with them is through my monthly newsletter. I inform the new connection that I have added their name to my monthly email list and that they can unsubscribe to my monthly newsletter at any time (this practice is intended to respect anti-spamming legislation).

A few years ago I received a new connection request and, subsequently, sent my thank you message to this person with notification I would be adding the new connection to my email list. The response I received from this new connection informed me that my actions were unwelcomed. The new connection went on to criticize me for my practices and to share that my efforts with my monthly newsletter were a waste of time and that I was helping no one. This new connection informed me they had reached out because they wanted me to get involved with an initiative they were launching to save the lives of people but that they did not wish to associated with someone who sent out “meaningless messages” to people. Unbeknownst to the person who shared these thoughts with me…

A few months earlier I received an unexpected and unsolicited message from another LinkedIn connection to thank me for my monthly newsletter and to share with me that I had “saved their life.” They went on to explain that they reached out to me via LinkedIn at a very dark time in their life and, unexpectedly, found comfort and hope in my daily contemplative sharing on LinkedIn and my monthly newsletter. This was the third message of this type I had received in as many years.

The above two stories are interesting reactions to the very same practice and the very same newsletter. Both are extreme reactions, at the opposite end of the scales. One criticizes me for my practices, says I am wasting my time, and that they don’t wish to associated with someone who sends out “meaningless messages.” And the other reaction is from someone who feels my practices and newsletter saved their life. What gives? How is it possible to have such diametrically opposed views and reactions to the same thing?

The answer lies in our perception, judgements, and choices. We see what we want to see and these perceptions are shaped by every life experience that preceded it. From our perception, we judge what we see. At this point our emotions enter the picture. And from our judgement we make choices. And so it was for the two people mentioned above—they perceived something, made a judgement, and then acted (i.e., choice) based on their perception and judgement.

The lesson in all this is that we choose what we see. In the reenactment above, one person chose to see their experience one way, the other person chose to see their experience in another way. But the thing they were reacting to (i.e., the newsletter) was the same. The deeper lesson is that either person wasn’t reacting to the newsletter, but to their chosen perception and judgement of the newsletter.

The gift is this lesson is that we can choose however we wish to see any situation. Even if we choose, initially, to see it one way, we can change the way we see the situation. The choice truly is ours to make.

“It was such an important lesson for me to be aware of my thoughts, especially my dark thoughts because when I’m in that space, that space of negativity, anger, and worry, that I miss, in equal proportion, opportunities to gladden myself, to make myself happy.”

Last month I was having a trying day. A couple of technological challenges were getting the better of me and I decided to take a breather, get outside and go for a walk. I remember telling myself before I went outside to leave my worries behind and just enjoy the walk.

I am fortunate to live in a part of the city that offers parkland immediately surrounding my condominium building—beautiful trees, grassy areas, and even a waterway to walk along. There was certainly plenty to appreciate around me.

But on this day, not even the splendor of the great outdoors was enough to pull me away from the mindless ratatouilles of past thoughts still ravaging my mind. I was still stuck in the past and worrying about my perceived technological problems. I walked along the streets looking at the beauty around me, but not really seeing it. My worry had a strangle hold on me and didn’t want to let go!

As I walked along in my befuddled state of mind, I passed a taxi cab stopped on the side of the street. As I walked past the taxi, there was an abrupt and startling knocking against the backseat window, coming from inside the car. Obviously something or someone in the backseat was knocking quite violently against the backseat window. I noticed the car windows were darkly tinted, so I could not see anyone inside. But I could clearly hear the sound of banging on the window and could even see the window vibrating and moving outwards as it was struck. Even with ALL the startling commotion, my worries still had the better of me and I walked on by the parked taxi, seemingly unaffected by the unfolding events, lost in my thoughts of ‘how am I going to solve this problem!?’

When I was about 20 feet past the car, I heard a loud voice yell out to me… “ROBERT!!!”

I spun around and there, climbing out of the car, was a colleague I had not seen in almost a decade. She yelled again… “ROBERT!!!”…and ran toward me with open arms. We gave each other a big hug and over the next 10 minutes shared with each other what we had been doing with our lives over the past decade and exchanged contact information with the intention of following up to arrange a coffee to get better caught up on life.

After our brief meeting my colleague went on her way, as she was enroute to an appointment when she spotted me, and I continued my walk back toward home. I didn’t walk more than a few steps and realized my entire energy had shifted and I was feeling much more relaxed, much less consumed by the worries of earlier that day that resulted in my getting out for my walk.

I stopped for a moment and sat down on park bench as a flood of realization came upon me that I almost missed that amazing encounter with my colleague because I was so lost in my worry. It took a loud jolt to shift me out of my worry. Until then, I was completely oblivious to the beauty around me. Until then, I was missing a world of opportunities to gladden myself, to make myself happy.

It was such an important lesson for me to be aware of my thoughts, especially my dark thoughts because when I’m in that space, that space of negativity, anger, and worry, that I miss, in equal proportion, opportunities to gladden myself, to make myself happy.

I recently had the delightful experience of participating in a drumming circle. The drumming circle was led by local Therapeutic Music Facilitator, Nigel E. Harris (http://www.musicalwellness.com/). Having experienced similar events in the past, and not particularly enjoying them, I had my reservations about this particular experience. But before I attended, I consciously chose to let go of the past experiences, enter into this particular evening with no expectations, and enjoy myself. And enjoy myself I did!

The evening began with some ritualistic customs born from the indigenous peoples of our land, including the reading of blessings and the burning of sage and sweet grass. With the intoxicating and blissful smell of incense wafting through the air, our drumming circle leader began the playing with a simple rhythm.

With the unspoken, but ever-present, invitation to join in with our own rhythm at any time, one by one, each member of the drumming circle gently, some tentatively, added their own beat to the drumming circle. As each new rhythm and beat was added to the experience, a rich and expansive texture filled the air. There were moments of dis-harmony, and moments of dropping out of rhythm, but the energy of the moment always brought us back into harmony with each other.

As we allowed ourselves to be moved by the energy of each other’s drumming, the beats and rhythms coalesced, merged, and rose to a hypnotic and almost ecstatic experience. I became lost in the energy and let go of earthly senses. An awareness of the numina came rushing in and I lost sense and touch with the physical world.

I had moments of moving back and forth between this physical world and the realm of Spirit. Images, sensations, flashbacks to earlier life experiences flooded through my awareness. Insights became crystal clear and teachings emerged and blessed me.

Perhaps most poignantly, I welcomed the awareness that we can all play our own melody, but together we can live in harmony. The drumming circle was a message, loud and clear, for peace and harmony at this time in our existence on Mother Earth / Father Sky. We can each have our beliefs and experiences, but it is possible to join with others in harmony and live in peace. Indeed, our individual beats and rhythms ad a rich tapestry to human existence and should be celebrated and embraced.

As in any relationship, we play our own instrument. But when we join with others, together we can make beautiful music.

“From a spiritual perspective, rituals are ways of expressing our gratitude for that which we are engaging in.”

Rituals go hand-in-hand with many spiritual practices and ceremonies. Ceremonies, in and of themselves, are imbued with ritual. So what is this ritual all about?

To explore rituals in our daily lives, allow me to share what my daily ritual is in regard the enjoyment of my morning coffee. To emphasize the intricate nature of the ritual, I itemize and bullet-point the process below:

• ·        First, fill up the kettle and place the kettle on the burner until it boils
• ·        While the water is heating up, take out the French press and coffee mug
• ·        Once the kettle has come to a boil, fill the French press and coffee mug with water to allow both the French press and coffee mug to heat up
• ·        Place the kettle back on the burner and allow it to come to a boil again
• ·        As the water is heating back up, take the coffee grinds out of the freezer
• ·        Open the bag and take a BIG inhale of the intoxicating aroma of the ground coffee beans
• ·        Empty the French press of water and scoop in the required amount of coffee grinds into the French press
• ·        Once the water has boiled again, poor just enough water into the French press to cover the ground coffee beans
• ·        Gently stir the water and coffee bean mixture
• ·        Allow the water and coffee beans to percolate for 60 seconds (the counting is even a ritual!)
• ·        Pour the rest of the desired amount of water into the French press
• ·        Gently stir the water and coffee grinds again
• ·        Allow the water and coffee to percolate for 3 minutes, 30 seconds
• ·        At the end of the percolation period, slowly and ceremoniously, depress the French press plunger and observe the plunger compacting the ground coffee beans to the bottom of the French press
• ·        Empty my coffee mug of the water that has been heating it and slowly pour my prepared coffee into the coffee mug
• ·        Wait patiently for every last drop of coffee to drain out of the French press into my coffee mug
• ·        Remove the plunger from the French press, empty the grounds, rinse out the French press, and place the French press aside to dry
• ·        Watch the steam rise from my coffee mug
• ·        Take a deep inhale of the intoxicating aroma
• ·        Gentle sip to taste…
• ·        Deep exhale and sigh of contentment…
• ·        Revel in my ecstasy…
• ·        Lose myself in bliss

I embellished the above ever so slightly, but not much!...all to make a point of ritual.

We use ritual to bring meaning and significance to our activities. We don’t actually need any aspect of the ritual, but we embrace the ritual so we can preserve the specialness or significance of the moment. Rituals are often associated with religious or spiritual ceremony, but we humans are pretty good at creating rituals out of pretty much anything—take the making of my morning cup of coffee as an elaborate example.

From a spiritual perspective, rituals are ways of expressing our gratitude for that which we are engaging in. Again, we don’t actually need any aspect of the ritual—and some spiritual practice invites us to actually lose the ritual aspect of our practice—but rituals are our way of respecting our traditions and practices. For many, without ritual our practice would be without meaning.

Think about what rituals you welcome into your daily life. Think about the rituals that form part of your spiritual practice. Consider what it would be like without these rituals. Could you give them up? What would your activities and practice be without your rituals?