Spiritual Guidance Blog
An Angel With A Bouquet of Flowers
by Robert Meagher on 10/03/13
I
live in a beautiful, residential community, just on the outskirts of the
downtown core of Ottawa. The
neighborhood is dominated by century-old homes with front porches and
architecture that is imbued with character.
Many of the homes, including ours, have small flower garden plots in the
front.
The neighborhood is also home to an eclectic potpourri of
residents—including a transient community of drug addicts.
One day in late August I was in the kitchen making my lunch, and the doorbell rang. The front door to the house has a large window in it so you can see who is standing on the front porch. As I approached the door, I could see there was a woman at the door; a woman I had not seen before. She looked bedraggled and was carrying a straggly clump of flowers.
Before I got to the door my egoic mind started to kick in. “Oh, who is this?! Please don’t be another drug addict who is going to tell me a yarn about some sad story so that she can try and get some money from me to support her drug habit.”
I opened the door and said, “Hello.”
“Hi” said the woman on the front porch. “I have no money to buy flowers. I would like to make a bouquet of flowers for my friend who is attending a funeral this afternoon and I was hoping I could have some flowers from your garden.”
Her eyes were sunken. Her face was drawn. She spoke with a slur. She was clearly someone whose life had presented her with hardships. Her body language was nervous and expectant; I sensed she was expecting me to tell her to go away.
As I took in her greeting, her story, her request, and her physical image, an energy started to build in the middle of my chest. This energy caused me to stand up straight and my heart to open. I could feel the energy course through my body. All of this was seemingly instantaneous.
“You can help yourself to any flowers you would like”, I said. She looked at me, her face started to tremble; her knees buckled and she collapsed to the porch floor, sobbing.
I knelt down, put my hand on her shoulder and said, “Wait here, I’m going to get some scissors so we can cut some flowers together.”
I raced to the kitchen, grabbed some scissors and bolted back to the front door. Oh my way to the front door, I grabbed a fresh bouquet of flowers sitting in a vase by the front door (my partner and I always keep a fresh bouquet of flowers on a table by the front door).
I walked out onto the front porch with the bouquet of flowers. “Here; these will get us started. Now let’s go into the garden and cut some more flowers for your bouquet.” Our guest had picked herself up off the porch floor and was drying her tears.
We walked down into the garden and I asked her to select some flowers she thought would be nice for her bouquet. We had Echinacea, Black-Eyed Susie’s, Lavender, Lilies, Daisies, and a medley of other flowers to choose from.
As we were cutting flowers for her bouquet, I asked her who had died. She explained a friend who was a heroin addict “did not make it”. She shared that she too was a heroin addict but that her recovery was going well. She went on to share that she was making the bouquet of flowers for her friend who was going to the funeral in a couple of hours. The family of the deceased would only allow immediate family to attend and that while her friend was not immediate family, she was planning to attend the funeral anyways because she had been by the bedside of the deceased for the last two weeks of his life, while his immediate family had disowned him.
We spent about 10 minutes cutting flowers and she shared some of her life story with me. I was taken by her gut-wrenching honesty and candidness.
After gathering a large bouquet of flowers I asked, “How does that look?”, as I held up our marvelous bouquet and smiled.
“Great!” she said, with an equally big smile on her face. As she took her new bouquet of flowers in her left arm, she held out her right hand, and with a glorious air of confidence said, “My name is Grace.”
“Grace, indeed”, I said (smiling). I asked her if I could give her a hug. She teared up and embraced me. We held on to each other for a good 10-15 seconds—it felt like much longer.
“Off you go”, I said smiling. “Your friend has a funeral to get to.”
“Thanks”, said Grace. She turned, and started walking away. I watched her walk down the street, wiping tears from her eyes, and holding her new bouquet of flowers in her arms.
When Grace rounded the corner at the end of the block, I walked back up the front steps. When I reached the top of the steps, I noticed a couple of flowers Grace had left behind from her original bouquet. They must have fallen to the porch deck when she collapsed in tears. My initial thought was “I must run after Grace to give her these flowers”…and then I thought, “No, I think I’ll leave them here to remind me of the angel that just dropped by to pay me a visit.”
Many of our faith traditions teach us that in giving we receive; equally, what we want to possess we must give away. Both these concepts may seem like paradoxes at best, and contradictory at worst. Yet, on this day, Grace was a divine teacher who gave me far more than I could ever hope to give her with a bouquet of flowers. Grace’s spirit remains with me to this day.
Shanti, Namaste, Agapé
Teaching and Learning Only Love
by Robert Meagher on 09/11/13
I
have come to learn that every action we take (or do not) and every word we
speak (or do not), in every moment, teaches love.
I once worked at a corporation that was owned, operated and led by its founder. By the end of my 9-year term of employment with this firm, I came to, at times, dislike this founder. The founder taught me many things. In many cases, I perceived these things I was taught were bad things. At times, I even became angry at the founder for the way I perceived the founder treated the people who worked for the corporation. And I remained angry at this founder even after I left the firm.
As I worked through my anger in the months following my departure from this company, I got to a point of resolving myself to the knowledge that the negative things the founder had taught me were blessings. However, I did not like having to see all the things this founder taught me were negative. I did not want to carry that ‘weight’ around.
Then one day it dawned on me. I realized that the founder—even ‘this’ founder—taught me why it was so important to love. In releasing myself of all the karma associated with the myriad of incidences that I perceived were negative, I peeled the layers of onion away until there were no more layers to peel away. At the core of all these perceptions and learnings was the knowledge that I was being taught how to love. Yes, I may have been experiencing how to love through someone who did not themselves consciously set out to teach me how to love. And my perception of this founder’s actions at the time may not have even closely resembled teachings of love. However, I can now look back and realize that this is in fact what I learned—why it is so important to love.
It does not matter how I learned to love. Sometimes we are taught life’s most valuable lessons (e.g., how to love) in the most unexpected places. Fortunately, I can now perceive this founder did teach me why it is so important to love. I am truly blessed and grateful for the totality of that lesson. It often felt painful. And it certainly did not feel like I was being taught about love—not in a setting like Corporate Canada from what many around me saw as a stereotypical leader who was perceived by most as ruthless and dictatorial. But that founder did, in every sense of the word, teach me why it is so important to love.
The experience related above has weaved itself into my every-day life to help me realize that every action I take (or do not) and every word I speak (or do not), in every moment, teaches love to those around me. While this is liberating, it also comes with great responsibility. I would prefer to teach love by showing love; not by showing the lack of it. I would prefer to teach love by acts of kindness, compassion, caring, empathy and service (to name a few); not by showing the lack of these acts. I would like to teach love to ‘being’ love. I cannot fail to teach love; that is comforting. How I choose to teach love is pause for careful contemplation.
And so it is the purpose of our time here in this place, to learn and to love. The learn how to love is the ultimate, divine union of our soul contracts.
Shanti, Namaste, Agapé
A New Spin on Tree Hugging
by Robert Meagher on 08/21/13
It
was a beautiful spring day and I was sitting on the front porch of my house
enjoying a conversation with a friend.
As we chatted, we were blessed to witness a whole new spin on the
concept of the ‘tree hugger’ (a slang, sometimes derogatory word for
environmentalists).
Along the street came a neighbourhood local (I will call him John). He was visually gifted, using his white cane to help him navigate his joyful way along the sidewalks. I had seen John around the neighbourhood several times. Each and every time he would be talking to himself as he walked along, often singing a tune. Today was no exception.
As John walked past the house, we could hear his child-like dialogue with himself intermixed with his walking-on-sunshine melodies. With John’s white cane swishing from side to side in front of him, along the street he continued.
A couple of house down the street there is a property that has a very large tree on the front lawn. The tree is so large, and the root system is so expansive, that the roots encroach on the sidewalk, actually reducing the amount of sidewalk at this particular point. As John came up to this part of the sidewalk, swishing his white cane from side to side, his cane got jammed in the root system and the butt end of the cane was thrust into John’s gut.
You could hear John explain… “Oh!...excuse me!” John thought he had bumped into a person. John collected himself and in order to get his bearings, he stood on the spot and proceeded to sweep his white cane from side to side in wide swaths to figure out how much room he had to deal with ahead of him.
We watched John feel his surroundings with his cane. We saw him sweep the edge of the sidewalk that dropped down to the street (so he knew the boundary on his left). We watched John then sweep his cane to the right and eventually bump back into the tree roots that were encroaching on the sidewalk. John kept sweeping back and forth for a few seconds to try and get oriented. He seemed a little confused each time he would hit the tree roots—things did not seem to be making sense to John.
So John put his cane down on the side walk and, with his hands, felt the ground to his right to see what was obstructing him. We heard John exclaim… “Oh my!” And then we watched John feel his way up the root system to the base of the tree. As John began to feel the enormity of the tree with his outstretched arms, he said outloud, “My!...you are a big one!”. I laughed at John’s joyous discovery.
John then proceeded to stumble his way over the root system, all the time holding on to the tree trunk, and then leaned into the tree and gave the tree a great big hug, all the time smiling. After giving the tree a big hug, John got himself back to the sidewalk, picked up his white cane, and continued his afternoon stroll. John stopped after a few steps, turned back in the direction of the tree and was heard saying “We’ll likely bump into each other again!” Again, I laughed at John’s sense of humor.
My how I wish we all could be so gracious, child-like, accepting and welcoming of life’s daily events as John was. He turned a potentially maddening situation into one full of joy, love and gratitude.
Shanti, Namaste, Agapé
Seeing With Our Eyes vs. Seeing With Our Hearts
by Robert Meagher on 07/31/13
“As the sun is not sullied by the defects of external objects, so the inner soul of all beings is not sullied by the misery of the world.”
…The
Upanishads
On a beautiful Sunday afternoon I was walking to my
regular Sunday afternoon spirituality discussion group. It was a beautiful, late winter day. There was a hint of spring in the air that
filled my heart with gladness. The sun’s
rays were getting much stronger and the warmth on my face was sweet nectar for
my soul.
My route to the discussion group’s meeting place brought
me by one of Ottawa’s many museums. And
being a Sunday afternoon, it was a popular destination and attraction for
families. As I passed in front of this
museum, a young family exited the grand front entrance. I did not see them, as I was so focused on
the beautiful warmth of the sun against my skin, but I knew from the sounds
emanating from this family that there was a mother, a father, and two young
children, both girls.
The two young girls were bubbly and vivacious in their
jubilant giggling and playfulness. One
girl said to the other in an excited tone, “Let’s race to the car!” To which her sister, I presume, replied… “You’re
on!”
“Daddy, daddy”, said one of the girls, “Can you say
‘ready, set, go!’ for us?”
“Sure!”, replied the dad in an equally playful tone. “Ready…Set…GO!!!”
And off the girls raced toward their car in the parking
lot. I was still so overjoyed with the
beautiful day, somewhat lost in a euphoric splendor, that I was still only
listening to the girls playing. I had
not yet looked to actually see with my eyes how the scene was unfolding. I could, however, continue to listen with my
ears and heart.
As the girls raced toward their car, one of the girls was
obviously winning the race. The girl
lagging behind began to call out. “Wait
for me!, Wait for me!” To which the girl
winning the race replied, “No way! You
always win!”…and both just kept on giggling.
I became more and more in tune to the girls playfulness,
but I still did not turn to look in their direction to see with my eyes what
was unfolding. I continued to enjoy the
scene through the senses of my ears and my heart. My ears were giving me the audible elements
of the scene. And my heart was adding
all the joy and playfulness that these two little girls were gifting
me—bringing me back to my own childhood and the wonderful memories of playing
out in the front yard with friends.
At this point, one of the girls reached the car and sang
out “I WIN, I WIN!”…giggling rambunctiously.
And her sister, still in pursuit, yelled out… “No fair!...you pushed
me!” Both of the girls were still
giggling.
My ego senses got the better of me and I turned to finally
lay my eyes on the scene that had played itself out to my ears and heart. What greeted me was a beautiful lesson in
what we learn depending on what senses we see with.
The little girl who had arrived at the car first was your
ordinary looking little girl. Two legs,
two arms, etc. etc., etc. The little
girl who was just arriving at the finish line was a paraplegic in a wheel
chair. Both were joyful, bubbly,
exuberant and playful little girls. But
when I saw, with my eyes (i.e., my ego), the little girl in the wheelchair, the
entire scene that had just played out in front of me took on a whole new
screenplay. I started to pity the little
girl in the wheelchair. And I created
this elaborate story in a millisecond about how this little girl’s life must be
difficult, trying and full of hardships.
When I saw the scene with my egoic eyes, none of the previous joy was
present.
The experience was a valuable lesson for me that when I
look at any situation through the eyes of the body (i.e., the egoic mind),
judgement is almost always present. And
this judgement clouds reality. Looking
at the situation through the eyes of the heart brings only peace, joy and love.
May we all learn to look upon life through the eyes of
the heart. For in that vision is our
freedom and eternal peace.
In love, gratitude, compassion and forgiveness…
Shanti, Namaste, Agapé
We Are More Than Our Bodies
by Robert Meagher on 07/10/13
One’s source is within oneself. Give yourself up to it. That means that you should seek the source and merge in it.
Ramana Maharshi
On an intellectually level I have accepted for quite some time that we are more than our bodies. Only recently, however, have I come to known this through experience.
Almost a year ago today my beloved partner was rushed to the hospital to undergo emergency surgery to repair a strangulated bowel. As our eight-day hospital odyssey came to a close, my partner asked me one day how much sleep I had over the previous days. I had not thought much about such things. When your loved ones are fighting for their lives, our own personal needs have a tendency to sink into the background.
I had been journaling extensively during my stay with him in the hospital and I was able to trace back over the previous days to answer my partner’s question. Much to my amazement, over one 96-hour stretch (4 days), I got a total of eight hours sleep—broken up into 30-minute or one-or two-hour naps. In addition, during that 96-hour period, I had nothing to eat for a 24-hour stretch.
Under normal circumstances, I would have collapsed from physical exhaustion. To go with so little sleep over a four-day period, and with so little food during one 24-hour period during that time, was something I had never experienced before in my life.
I am used to being in bed by 10pm each night and up between 5:30 – 6:00am each morning. I can only remember two nights in the previous five years where I reluctantly stayed up past midnight (and both occasions were to ring in the New Year with my partner and other friends). I am quasi-hypoglycemic and eat at regular intervals throughout the day. My Maritime routes have bred a healthy appetite in me.
Somehow, some way, during my partner’s hospitalization I was able to go with very little sleep and, in some cases, very little food. And what was even more surprising, to me, was that as I was going through the experience I was aware I had very little sleep and food. Even though I was tired, I felt full of energy. I knew I was not up for one of my usual workouts at the pool, gym or yoga studio, but I was full of whatever energy I needed to caregive for my partner.
Much of the literature on such experiences suggests that after the traumatic period is over (however long that may be), the caregiver often ‘crashes’ for several days as a means to recoup or regain their strength and vitality. I had no such experience. On the Friday night my partner returned home, I was in bed at my usual time, had a great night sleep, rose the next morning and in the ensuing days slowly got back into my daily routine, including ministry efforts, spiritual self-care, and physical self-care regime (which includes swimming, weight/resistance training, long-distance walking and yoga).
The experience made me realize we are more than our bodies. Science cannot fully explain how I was able to do what I did over that 96-hour period. Adrenalin? Perhaps; but that’s not the whole story.
Of the cornucopia of spiritual practice I invite into my life, I am a devout student of A Course in Miracles (ACIM). I turned to ACIM in asking… “What is it that keeps us going, that gives us the energy/life we need in times of crisis?” The ACIM Workbook for Students lesson 50 gave me my answer…
I am sustained by the Love of God. Here is the answer to every problem that will confront you, today and tomorrow and throughout time. In this world, you believe you are sustained by everything but God. Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, “protective” clothing, influence, prestige, being liked, knowing the “right” people, and an endless list of forms of nothingness that you endow with magical powers.
All these things are your replacements for the Love of God. All these things are cherished to ensure a body identification. They are songs of praise to the ego. Do not put your faith in the worthless. It will not sustain you.
Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances. It will lift you out of every trial, and raise you high above all the perceived dangers of this world into a climate of perfect peace and safety. It will transport you into a state of mind that nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb, and where nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God.
Put not your faith in illusions. They will fail you. Put all your faith in the Love of God within you; eternal, changeless and forever unfailing. This is the answer to whatever confronts you today. Through the Love of God within you, you can resolve all seeming difficulties without effort and in sure confidence. Tell yourself this often today. It is a declaration of release from the belief in idols. It is your acknowledgement of the truth about yourself.
In love, gratitude, compassion and forgiveness…
Shanti, Namaste, Agapé
