Spiritual Guidance Blog

Bear with me as I take a philosophical romp through musings about endings and beginnings. Or is that beginning and endings…

I write this piece on the last day of February 2023. When I rise tomorrow, it will be the first day of March. This milestone got me thinking about beginnings and endings…endings and beginnings.

Our life is full of beginnings and endings. It would seem that everything we begin at some point comes to an end. We start a project, that usually comes to an end at some point. We start a race and it too will eventually come to an end. We rise each morning to a new day, that ends. We start a relationship, and those too come to an end.

Many things in life repeat this cycle over and over. Take, for example, my preceding mention of rising each morning to a new day. The day comes to an end; but begins anew when we rise the next day. The ending of one project can mark the beginning of another project. The ending of a relationship opens us to starting a new relationship.

Is there anything in life that remains constant? Is there anything in life that does not end? Is there anything in life that does not begin?

Love is such a one. Love does not end. We may think we stop loving people or things. But where does that love go? Does love just stop? Or does it get stored up until we redirect our love to something or someone else? But where did that love go ‘in between’?

Life itself does not end. Cut down a tree and new growth will eventually emerge from the tree stump. Throw out a plant and through the process of decomposition the plant will create fertile soil for the birth of new vegetation. This process is abundantly evident with the cycle of deciduous trees dropping their leave in the fall and the leaves providing nutrient-rich material to feed the forest floor, and foster the growth of new plant life.

Another interesting angle to this philosophical exploration of beginnings and endings is to ask yourself how you begin things, and how you end things? Generally speaking, how do you start things? With excitement? With hesitance? With resistance? Does it depend on what you are starting? What about endings? Generally speaking, how do you end things? Quickly? Do you tend to let things drag on? Are endings happy things? Or reason for otherwise for you? Again, does it depend on what you are ending?

Can we plan the ending of something? Or the beginning of something else? Can life be planned? I mean, can I truly plan what will happen in my life? Am I in control of this life?

Endings and beginnings…or is that beginnings and endings? Or is this all just about the cycle of life?

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

I am an avid student of non-dual spiritual teachings. Like with any spiritual teaching, my passion is in a lived experience of the spiritual teaching. That is, how do I live the spiritual teaching in my life? For me, one of the purposes of spiritual teaching is to live it in my life. Otherwise, why study it?!

But living spiritual teaching, dual or non-dual alike, can be a challenge. These wonderful, philosophical prose sound great on paper (or on the screen), but what do they look like in real life? How can I integrate them into my daily life to live a life the teachings profess and guide us toward?

One of the foundational, non-dual spiritual teachings relates to a transition from separative perception to union with all life. Separation in non-dual teachings is merely to experience something as separate and distinct from myself. This separative experience is most clearly demonstrated in our perception of other people. We see others as separate entities, separate bodies. And with more 8 billion people reportedly living on our planet, there are no shortage of opportunities to see others as separate from ourselves.

In non-dual teachings, we are taught that nothing and no-one is separate from us. We are all ‘one.’ But what does that look like? What does it feel like? How can I experience that oneness? Are there exercises I can do to practice this oneness in my life?

Last month I began to experiment with a practice that is intended to help train my mind to stop treating other people as separate from me. The practice involves removing the word ‘you’ from my language. What does this look and sound like?

The word ‘you’ is ubiquitous in our language. If we watch the words we speak, we may be surprised how often we use the word ‘you’ on a daily basis. The word ‘you’ immediately supports a dualistic viewpoint. The object of our ‘you’ presupposes something is separate and distinct from us. By virtue of the fact we use the word ‘you,’ we have assumed that ‘you’ is separate from us. But how can I change this language behavior?

Here are some examples of common, everyday speak, that I am playing with to change my language…

The above examples are not merely neuro-linguistic programming techniques. The above examples are practices to help remove the basis of separative thought and thinking. In the first example (changing “But you said…” to “What I heard was…”), I am taking responsibility for what I heard and not defaulting to blaming another. In the second and third examples, I am removing ‘you’ and replacing it with ‘we.’ At least these practices set the stage for a united perception. Instead of seeing another as separate from me, I am beginning to use language that facilitates togetherness and union.

Have you played around, experimented, with this linguistic practice? Are there other examples of instances where the word ‘you’ was removed from spoken language? If so, I’d would love to hear of these practices so we may support ONEanother and support our growth toward unity.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

Allow me to begin this passage with a parable…

A venerable leader of a spiritual community was nearing the end of her embodied life. As this leader lay on a bed, many members of the spiritual community gathered around her to be with her at this transformative time. One member of the community who was sitting next to her, reached out, gently touched her hand, and asked “How are you doing?” To which the venerable leader responded, “I’m still learning.”

During a recent Holiday Season, I called and spoke to one of my sisters. It was good to get caught up on each other’s lives. During the conversation, I learned of some stressful situations unfolding in my sister’s life. My sister expressed her concern for various situations involving her children that were causing my sister great unrest. I listened, occasionally asking questions for clarification purposes, but offered no counsel or advice.

After I got off the phone with my sister, I pondered our conversation. I felt like I was allowing myself to be drawn back into the family dynamic. I began to recall many such conversations with family members in the past. I also recounted experiencing these family unfoldings first hand when I lived in close proximity to my family members.

During dinner that evening, I recounted the above conversation with my sister to my partner. After listening for approximately 10 minutes to my experience, my partner reflected back to me that it’s possible I was feeling ‘drawn into’ my family dynamic because I was judging my family members. I recoiled at the suggestion I was judging my family members and shuttered at the thought of such mindless behavior. My nuclear family, and the dynamics that connect the family, has been the source for many hours of inner work and contemplation. I thought I was above judgement of my family members by now. Apparently not!

The more I thought about my partner’s comments, the more I realized my partner was right. Not only have I judged my family members in the past, but I continued to judge them—as evidenced by feeling ‘drawn back into’ the family dynamic.

I was initially quite discouraged at the folly of my judgement. But then was reminded of the beautiful teaching by Ram Dass… “I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion—and where it isn’t, that’s where my work lies.”

Clearly, I still have some work to do in extending love and compassion in all situations. Clearly, “I’m still learning.”

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

This month’s message is a simple, yet precious, little story about how we look at things can make all the difference.

I live in a 110-unit condominium building. There is a wonderful sense of community in this building. In part, because of numerous community-based initiatives going on in and around the building. One of these initiatives is an old-fashioned composting program. This composting program uses discarded, raw fruits and vegetables, and other compostable matter, to create rich soil additive for the gardens around the property. The program has been a tremendous success for the community, and even some of the wildlife.

One of the wildlife benefactors of this program is the local squirrel population. The squirrels have easy access to the bin contents via air vents that they have widened to aid in their access and exit from the bins. I have tried plugging up the holes in the past, but the squirrels are very adept at undoing whatever efforts I make to block the holes. Years ago, I decided I liked the idea the squirrels could avail themselves of the fresh produce in the bins, especially during the cold winter months, as it provided a dependable food source for them.

This season, however, the squirrels have been making their presence known more than usual. Often, the squirrels choose to excavate a significant portion of the bin contents outside the bin, leaving mounds of compost strewn around the base of the bins. On the days I discover the squirrels mischievous behavior, there are typically several squirrels perched on branches in the trees above the bins, gazing down at me.

When I’m in a playful mood, I will talk to them. I’ll tell them I’m glad they are enjoying the compost deposits but ask them if they could mind their manners a little better so as not to leave so much leftover outside the bins. Sometimes, the squirrels will peer down at me, squawking at me, twitching their tails, chattering away. I’ll often carry on my exchange with them—as I pick up the mess—treating them like they know full well what I am saying. It’s become a bit of a playful game between me and the squirrels. Surely, if anyone was watching the scene from afar, they would want me committed!

Earlier this week I ran into a community member at the compost bins. She was making a deposit of some compostable material. We got to chatting and the topic of the local squirrel community came up. I shared my experience above with her. We both laughed and she said to me…

“You know, when we stop looking at it as a battle, we can begin to look at it as a circus.” We both roared laughing.

I walked away from the exchange with a profound sense of gratitude for the gracious exchange and the endearing pearl of wisdom offered me. While the little jewel was offered in the context of the playful times I was sharing with the squirrels, I was very aware how far-reaching this little wisdom saying has in our daily lives.

How often do we approach life as a battle? A confrontation, an argument, an upset, a long-held grievance against a colleague, friend, or family member. There is no end to the litany of battles we wage on an ongoing basis.

But what opportunities are there to turn these battles into something we can laugh at and have fun with?

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.