Spiritual Guidance Blog

I have become increasingly interested in nutrition throughout my life. I am now at a state in my life where I take my diet and nutrition seriously, watching what I eat, when I eat it, and how I eat the food I prepare for myself. I rarely purchase store-bought / ready made food, opting instead to make my own food. I don’t eat processed sugars. I am conscious of the dietary components of the foods I eat. My interest in food and nutrition has grown to the point where I have decided to head back to university in January to study Human Kinetics and delve more deeply into the relationship among human anatomy, physiology, exercise, and nutrition.

As noted above, I have moved away from eating processed sugars. If I want or need to add sweetness to the food I cook or bake, I will substitute sugar for honey or maple syrup. Honey has been in the news a lot in the past few years, questioning its nutritional value and health benefit. I’m not going to get into the concerns about honey; all to say there are some healthier alternatives to honey that can add some sweetness to your food, if desired.

My primary breakfast food is oatmeal. I add nuts, raisins (for sweetness), fresh fruit, and fresh berries most mornings. Until recently, I had always added a teaspoon of honey to my morning oatmeal; occasionally I would substitute maple syrup for honey, but I find maple syrup too sweet sometimes.

On a recent shopping excursion, I picked up a container of molasses for a recipe I was planning to make. I arrived home, opened up the cupboard to put the molasses away, and realized I already had a full container of molasses in the cupboard. “Hmmm,”…I thought. “I don’t use molasses very much (in my cooking or baking). “I don’t want it to go to waste.”, I thought. “How could I use molasses on a more regular basis?” I asked myself. “Why not try it in my morning oatmeal, instead of honey.”

So, the next morning I tried some molasses in my oatmeal, instead of honey. As I was enjoying my oatmeal, out of curiosity, I grabbed the honey and oatmeal containers and started to read the nutritional labels on the products. I was quite surprised to read that not only did the molasses contain a quarter less sugar per serving, but the molasses contained far more vitamins and nutrients than honey. I did some further research online and learned just how much more healthy molasses is than honey. Needless to say, I have switched to using molasses in my morning oatmeal.

Enough of the talk about food and nutrition. That’s not what this article is about…

Life has a way of showing us the way. Life has a way of leading us where we need to go. I think it’s ‘very’ interesting that with my increasing interest in health and nutrition, that one day I make the Alzheimer’s-like mistake of picking up a duplicate container of molasses. Actually, it wasn’t a mistake at all! I think it was life’s way of making me aware of something that was aligned with my heart’s intention at the time. I think this happens all the time in our lives. Some may call it serendipity. Some may call it coincidence. Some may call it ‘dumb luck’! I think of it as Divine intervention.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

When my partner was plunged into the long-term care system in May, most everything I was doing stopped. I stopped most of my ministry work. I stopped facilitating groups. I stopped endurance cycling outside (although I continued to enjoy indoor workouts). I stopped any remaining social activities I was engaging in. All my energies were devoted to helping my partner, as best I could, get settled in a long-term care facility.

Now, seven months later, my partner is settled in a long-term care facility. I have sold our home, moved, and settled in to a new place. Now, seven months later, life is starting to settle down a little. I feel space in my life again; that is, some time to sit and relax, space and time to ‘smell the proverbial roses.’ I have begun to think about resuming some of the activities I enjoyed before May. But not so fast!...

I have made a conscious decision to re-evaluate everything I was doing prior to May. As I consider engaging in any/all activities, I will evaluate whether I want to resume the activity. I have made a conscious decision to not fill up all my time and energies. I have made a conscious decision to allow ‘space’ in my life. This feels like such a critical juncture in my life; and giving myself the permission to be patient with the unfolding feels important. I need time to watch and witness what may emerge. I don’t want to numb any new, creative ideas that may come my way because I have no time or space to explore them. For example,..

I am intending to return to University in January to study Human Kinetics. In recent years I have developed a keen interest in the relationship among human anatomy, physiology, physical exercise and nutrition. While I have enjoyed my self-directed study in recent years, I want to return to an academic setting and add some structure to my learning. What I am so looking forward to is inviting this new learning experience ‘for me,’ not for a degree (i.e., piece of paper), but for the simple joy of learning.

As my life transforms and emerges from a tumultuous purification of sorts, I will consciously observe the unfoldings, giving myself permission to ‘feel’ the unfolding. I will be patient with myself and give myself the time I need to adjust and embrace what emerges.

This time feels like a great ‘reset;’ an opportunity to start over again, sort of. Of course, I am not going to jettison everything I did before. The foundation of my ministry work will remain. I intend to continue my psychotherapy practice and spiritual groups. I intend to continue my collaboration with my spiritual teacher, Richard Harvey. But all of these activities will be streamlined. Some newness will emerge, for which I look forward to.

Transforming one’s life, and what one does with one’s life, is invigorating and rejuvenating. Life can get pretty full. Sometimes this fullness creeps up on us. Sometimes life gives us some calamity that makes life spill over and we are forced to make abrupt adjustments. It’s all carefully orchestrated to guide us through our own learning and healing, however. Regardless of what’s unfolding, whether we perceive it as good or bad, it will pass. Something new will emerge. Nothing stays the same, except our love. That is the one constant, love. Let love guide us through life and the transformations of space we experience.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

I remember a dramatic scene in a Canadian TV show featuring a doctor and raging patient. The doctor was trying to diagnose a patient’s condition. The patient was irritable and cranky. At one point, the patient lashed out against the doctor, saying “You Docs have all the answers, don’t you!?” The doctor replied, “No, I don’t have the answers, but I do have the questions.”

Over the past few months, I have written about things being stripped away in my life (home life with my partner, my home, my work) and the awareness that none of these things are what or who I am. As I process the unfoldings, I have been blessed with the opportunity to ask myself some questions, some of those questions I have shared in previous passages. But I wanted to summarize them here, in one article.

The first set of questions are from a grieving state; that part of me that is sensing loss and that is grieving that loss. Those questions include:

·         What will be left when I get through this?

·         What will I look like?

·         What will I feel like?

·         What will remain?

But then, another more hopeful set of questions emerged that looks at the situation and unfoldings through a different lens. Those questions include:

·         What will emerge?

·         What could possibly be in store for me?

·         What is life choreographing for me?

·         Where is life leading me?

·         What does life want for me?

·         What is life GIVING me?

The questions alone have a healing affect. The answers to the questions are somewhat irrelevant. The awareness of the questions themselves brings hope. The questions ground me in a trust that life will provide for me. I am brought an awareness that I don’t need the answers. I am reminded that all I need do is allow life to unfold on its terms and to remain at peace with its unfoldings. Life will reveal itself to me; I need not force it.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

I recently shared about some losses I was experiencing: loss of living with my life partner (as he was being transitioned into long-term care); loss of our home (as I was in the process of selling it); and loss of my livelihood (as the circumstances that were unfolding resulted in my stopping my majority of my work). As I walk my way through these losses, as I grieve, some interesting awarenesses are being brought my way.

First, my relationship with my life partner, the loss of living with my life partner due to him being transitioned into long-term care, is not what I am. Any relationship I am in with another is not me. We have a tendency to define ourselves by the relationships we are in. We become the relationship and / or the relationship becomes us. We can quite easily lose ourselves in the other, the relationship.

Our home, and all the material possessions contained within it, are not me. Like with relationships, we tend to identify with our material possessions. We can become so attached to our material possessions that we think it’s who we are. We identify with our material possessions. We allow them to define who we are. There’s an interesting paradox about our material possessions. We think we own things. In reality, our material possessions own us.

Lastly, my livelihood, my work, is not who or what I am. How often have you been at a social gathering, meet someone new, and, perhaps naturally, ask… “So, what do you do for a living?” The typical response might be, “I’m a teacher.” or “I’m a real estate agent.” or “I’m an office clerk.” Nothing could be further from the truth. We are none of these occupations, jobs, titles. Think about it!...are you REALLY a teacher, real estate agent, or office clerk? Is that what and who you are? I have often said of the work I do, I practice minister, but I am not a minister. I practice psychotherapy, but I am not a psychotherapist. And so on.

My relationships are not who or what I am. My material possessions, no matter how grand, are not who or what I am. My job is not who or what I am. Then what am I? The ancient teachers guide us to an awareness that ‘I am that which I seek.’ Or even more simply stated, ‘I am that.’ And non-dual teachings would simply say ‘I am.’

There is a beautiful teaching, “We don’t have to seek for what is true. But we do need to seek for what is false.” What is true is love, nothing more, nothing less. Love is the very essence, all and everything that we are. We don’t need to seek for it, for that is what we are. We do need to seek for what is false. In other words, we need to seek for the blockages to love in all its myriads of layers and permutations. It is only in seeking these blockages, becoming aware of these blockages, that we may learn to remove these blockages.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

This month offers another blessing and opportunity to share a teaching from my caregiving journey. For those of you following along over the past few years, you know my beloved partner lives with advanced stages of Parkinsons that is now presenting dementia. Last month I shared that my partner was hospitalized on at the beginning of May and will not be returning home, but will be transitioned into the long-term care system. These events have created a set of circumstances resulted in my decision to sell our home and find another place to live.

The process of letting go of my partner is the most intense stripping away of the unfolding experience. To know we will not be living together again has created some very deep emotional gashes. These events have initiated a process of saying goodbye to my loved one. As one door closed, another opens. But this closing door is very heavy at this time.

The process of preparing our home for sale is the most vivid, daily reminder of things being stripped away. Box after box of ‘stuff’ is being donated to charity or discarded. Clothes, books, cookware, pots, pans, plates, utensils, artwork, furniture, you name it, it is all being given away, stripped away.

Most of my work-related activities have abruptly ground to a halt. I am maintaining a bare minimum of activities related to my spiritual ministry. Other creative initiatives, however, have been cast off.

Social-related activities have also abruptly stopped. My passion of outdoor cycling has been put aside for now. I trust I will return to that beloved physical activity should Life want that to happen. I do maintain daily, physical exercise, but it’s mostly indoors. I do still enjoy my walks in the surrounding area. So all outdoor activity has not ceased.

The majority of what socializing I enjoyed has also been stripped away, as my time is primarily devoted to daily hospital visitation and preparing our home for sale. I am very blessed to have a few, dear friends who are compassionately checking in on me regularly and that I get together with for brief meetups to enjoy their company and compassionate support.

As I watch so much of my life being stripped away, there is a growing awareness of a purification-of-sorts unfolding. The material possessions mean nothing. While there are some things I have felt the pangs of emotional loss in letting go of, for the most part it is so cleansing to watch ‘stuff’ go out the door to what I hope are grateful recipients at the local charity donation centres. While I miss some of my work-related activities, it also feel some relief in letting some things go. I do feel a significant loss about not enjoying my days on my bike, but that too somehow feels appropriate at this time. I have a saying… ‘there is a time and place for everything in life.’ It’s not the right time to be doing that activity right now.

Yes, it’s painful to watch all this being stripped away. But this awareness of a purification-of-sorts unfolding is leaving me with some intriguing questions What will be left when I get through this? What will I look like? What will I feel like? What will remain? What will emerge?

Believe it or not, there is an intrigue about this unfolding process of stripping away. What could possibly be in store for me? What is life choreographing for me? Where is life leading me? What does life want for me? What is life GIVING me?

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.