Spiritual Guidance Blog

So much of our discontent is the result of us holding on. When we hold on to things, we create the fertile ground for sadness, anxiety, grievances, anger, hatred, and conflict.

What do I mean by holding on? I don’t mean holding on to things in the literal sense. For example, I don’t mean holding on to a coffee mug or a hair dryer. Although, if either the coffee mug or hair dryer are scalding hot, letting go will immediately stop the burning sensation. I am referring to holding on to things of an emotional or psychological nature. For example, holding on to the way life was. Or, holding on to expectations that someone will act or behave a certain way. Or, holding on to hopes and wishes that something will turn out a certain way.

Allow me to share an example that shows what holding on can look like from different angles. I will use one of my passions, cycling, as an example.

Cycling season in Ottawa, ON, CANADA, runs from, approximately, April through to November. The heart of the cycling season is May through September, with cycling in April and October being hit and miss from a weather standpoint. There are some hardy cyclists who cycle year-round, regardless of the weather, but those brave souls are scarce.

When my cycling season stops, in late October or early November, I turn to other outdoor activities to get some exercise in the great outdoors. My primary exercise in the cycling off season is hiking. If the weather cooperates, I will get out to enjoy some cross-country skiing and/or ice skating. The warming of our climate has seen less snow and cold in Ottawa, and the season for skiing and skating has shrunk significantly over the past five year alone!

During the cycling off season, I often find myself reminiscing and daydreaming about my cycling adventures from the previous season. My reminiscing and daydreaming are a form of holding on. When I hold on to my memories of my cycling adventures, I miss the chance to embrace the present moment and the present opportunities to enjoy other activities. I miss the opportunity to allow the ebb and flow of life to lead me, instead of me trying to control my life. Trying to control my life surely is a recipe for discontent.

Continuing to use my love of cycling, allow me to share a different form or angle of holding on…

I recently shared about my partner’s dementia diagnosis. In the weeks following the diagnosis, I scampered my way through a myriad of emotions. I was drawn into projecting on to the future what things would be like. Even though I am fully aware I cannot possibly know what will happen in the very next moment, let alone weeks or months from now, I fell into a practice of predicting what the future would hold.

One of the focal points of my commiseration was the prediction that I would have to give up my outdoor cycling in order to stay close and watch over my partner. The thoughts of giving up outdoor cycling led me to sadness, anger, and resentment. I realized just how much I was holding on to my anticipation of a future state of being (i.e., cycling outdoors again). The only way out of this emotional predicament was to let go of my wants and needs. There is a beautiful teaching that goes something like this… ‘We don’t always want what we need, and we don’t always need what we want.’

Ultimately, it is a matter of surrendering to life. Can I trust enough in life that life will do what is the best for me? Can I trust that there is a time and place for everything in life and that if I cannot do something right now, that is what life has in store for me? Can I surrender to life and trust that a Will greater than mine is at play and that to fight that Will is not the path to peace? My path to peace is surrendering to the truth that life is not happening to me, but life is happening FOR me. If I am meant to do something in the future, I will do it. If I am not meant to do something in the future, I will not do it. It’s that simple.

I have used a couple of very simple examples of what I mean by holding on. I trust you can realize the places in your life where you are holding on. Letting go, or surrendering, doesn’t mean giving up all our hopes and dreams. There’s nothing wrong with hoping and dreaming. Just realize that we plan, hope, and dream because we are afraid of what would happen if we didn’t! Planning, hoping, and dreaming can have some very practical applications in our lives (e.g., making a grocery list to go to the store), but our peace is found in letting go and accepting all that is.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

One of my favorite pastimes at this time of year is solving jigsaw puzzles. As the daylight hours grow shorter and the temperatures are not as conducive to spending long periods of time outdoors, I turn to indoor activities that nurture my heart and soul. One of these indoor activities is solving jigsaw puzzles.

Jigsaw puzzles are interesting creatures. My favorite jigsaw puzzles are bright and cheery, and will have people, movement, and action in them. During the Holiday Season, I enjoy puzzles that depict holiday gatherings of merriment and joy. Landscapes are also a favorite of mine, so long as there are people in the puzzle.

While working on a recent jigsaw puzzle, an awareness came to me that life is very much like a puzzle. There are many pieces to our lives, one might say an infinite number of pieces. Each of these pieces of our lives is put together to create a beautiful picture or mosaic.

One of these intricate qualities of the jigsaw puzzle of our lives is that each and every piece is located and put in its rightful place at exactly the right time—exactly when we need it. Allow me to share an example.

I enjoy going for walks at this time of year. I get bundled up and off I go for walks through the forest and along the banks of a nearby river. On one of my recent walks, I was thinking that I wanted to speak to someone about apartment renting. I wondered who I could speak to. As I thought about it, I realized I had a good friend who lived in an apartment and that this friend would be the perfect person to speak to. Who did I bump into on this very walk? That’s right, the friend I was thinking I needed to speak to! I asked my friend my questions about apartment renting and got exactly the answers I needed. The preceding is a simple, yet perfect, example of how the pieces of our jigsaw puzzle life get put together as we make our way through life.

The one interesting quality of life as a jigsaw puzzle, that I am fascinated with, is that we never actually get to see the completed picture or image. We do complete our jigsaw puzzle of life, but we are not able to see our completed picture. As we are living our lives, we are not able to see the bigger picture and how it all fits together. The best puzzle solvers of life are those that develop a trust in life—a trust that the pieces are all falling in to place exactly as they should and/or need to. The best puzzle solvers are those that realize every situation unfolds exactly as it should and that we are brought the pieces of our puzzle when we are ready to find it.

Yes, there are seeming ups and down in life. But each up and down is a piece in the jigsaw puzzle. And each piece does come together to create a beautiful picture or mosaic. Enjoy piecing together your puzzle of life. Enjoy making your own, unique creation.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

For more than 20 years I have been the sole (and soul) caregiver for my partner who lives with Parkinsons. Last month, my partner was also diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. The new diagnosis was not unexpected; it is a natural progression of Parkinsons for many people living with Parkinsons.

The caregiving journey over the past 20+ years has been an interesting one, to say the least! We have seen many ups and downs. There have been many challenges along the way. Just one of the blessings has been the slow progression of the Parkinsons. We have been given time to adjust to each new turn in the road before another turn comes into view.

Soon after the Lewy Body Dementia diagnosis, I was brought the awareness of the infinite nature of our love and compassion. Prior to the dementia diagnosis, the caregiving felt like a heavy weight at times—weighing me down, grinding me down. When we received the Lewy Body Dementia diagnosis, however, a whole new wave of compassion flowed over me. The diagnosis was an invitation to dig deep within to uncover that infinite storehouse of love and compassion.

We do have an unlimited storehouse of love and compassion. We only need to let that storehouse be opened to experience it. Nothing outside of us will open this storehouse for us. It is only by turning inward that the storehouse can be revealed to us. A recent spiritual teaching from A Course in Miracles helped me to unlock this storehouse…

I am one Self, united with my Creator, at one with every aspect of creation, and limitless in power and in peace.

Love and compassion are the DNA of our true Self. Love and compassion are the foundation for everything we say and do. It is from this love and compassion that a healed mind emerges; the mind that blocked our awareness to these infinite gifts within us.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

One of the spiritual teachings I study is A Course in Miracles (ACIM). Part of the ACIM teachings is offered in the Workbook for Students that offers daily lessons to practice the teachings in my daily life.

Any spiritual teaching / discipline I have come across invites the student to practice. Take, for example, body centred practices such as yoga or tai chi, the student is encouraged to practice the asanas and movements. Maybe it’s teachings from a spiritual or great faith tradition; in which case the student is invited to practice the teachings in the scriptures or texts. Maybe its meditation or breathwork; here the student is invited to sit and meditate and/or practice their breathwork.

In all cases, practicing the teachings is what allows us to imbue and imbibe the teachings to live a healthy life (physically, mentally, and emotionally). Without practice, the teachings may become merely abstractions that make no sense.

In the ACIM gatherings I host, we talk a lot about practicing the teachings through our daily practice. We talk about the challenges and rewards of our practice.

I am blessed to have an orientation toward, and tolerance for, discipline. So, practicing my spiritual teachings is not difficult for me. But not everyone welcomes discipline and the opportunity to practice their spiritual teachings.

At a recent ACIM gathering, students were talking about their practice and their challenges with staying committed to their practice. I reflected on the students’ comments and shared that I have come to see my practice as a privilege. My choosing to practice is a privilege. And I honor that privilege by practicing. Some days my practice feels better than other days. But I practice just the same. To not practice is to dishonor the teachings.

How do you view your spiritual practice? Is it a privilege for you? If so, how do you honor your practice?

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.

If you have been following my writings recently, you know that cycling is a passion of mine. Over this past season, I have been offered the awareness that cycling has become sacred to me and it has demonstrated itself as a form of spiritual practice. As such, I have embraced the teachings of my cycling adventures.

Last season I was blessed with the experience of cycling over very long distances. On one occasion I joined a group of riders for a 225 km excursion. While the outing was intended to be recreational in nature, with no competitive angle, there were numerous riders who did decide to make the event a race to see who could complete the 225 km route in the least amount of time. I had no intention of participating in the race aspect of the day. I simply wanted to enjoy the long ride at my casual pace.

When the outing started, many of the cyclists took off ahead of me in their pursuit of victory over this very long route. I simply settled into my comfortable pace and moving meditation on my bicycle. I had cycled with some of these riders before and knew that their approach to cycling long distances was to exert themselves over 20-25 kms at a time, and then rest for a while, often stopping for periods of 15 – 20 minutes, before resuming cycling. I, by contrast, cycle slower, stopping every 15 – 20 kms, but only for a few minutes at a time; long enough to enjoy nutrition and nature breaks.

As the excursion moved past the 100 km point, I noticed that I was passing some of the riders who initially darted off ahead of the pack at the beginning of the ride. These riders were stopped along the side of the road on one of their rests / breaks. At the 150 km point, I noticed that I was passing yet more of the riders who initially darted off ahead of the pack at the beginning of the ride. After more than 12 hours of riding, I finished the 225 km route ahead of more than half of the other riders; many of which had started their ride in a hurry to complete the route first.

I trust you have heard the wisdom teaching “slow and steady wins the race.” I wasn’t racing on this day, but I was cycling slow(er) and steady. As it turns out, this slow and steady approach allowed me to complete the 225 km route in a shorter time than those who approached the outing as a race.

My approach to cycling long distances is a metaphor for my life. No need to rush. No need to hurry. Just go about your daily life at a comfortable, steady pace. No need to exert myself unnecessarily. Life is not a sprint; it’s more like a marathon.

The experience was, and continues to be, an important reminder to be aware of how I am living my life. Are there times and places in my life where I dash off the start line with the intention of getting to the finish line first? Are there opportunities to slow things down a bit when I feel rushed and under pressure? Am I living my life like I am in a sprint / race?...or am I living my life to so that I may endure? These are all metaphorical questions. But you get the idea.

Sometimes hurrying and rushing does get us to the finish line first. But what I’ve learned from long-distance cycling, is that slow and steady will more often than not allow you to finish ahead of many, if not most, and be ready to hop on your bicycle and do it again the next day.

Robert Meagher has been ordained as an Interfaith Minister and certified as a Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) Therapist. Robert is the Founder and Spiritual Director for Spiritual Guidance and Co-Founder of the Center for Human Awakening.